Author’s Note
This book might be confusing to some. But keep in
mind throughout
my book
that this was
a very confusing
World I lived
in. I
think to truly begin to understand what it
Was like, you would have had to be there, and since I wish
that on no
one, this book
is my attempt
to convey the
overwhelming
confusion I felt
during those years
and to
Begin to unravel the damage that was done to me and my
Family.
You might be suddenly reading about a character that
was never introduced, but that’s how it was for me. I t
didn’t
feel like a
sequence of events.
Even after I was freed,
moments are
fragmented and jumbled. With some help,
I
have come to
realize that my
perspective is unique
to
abduction. I don’t want
to lose that
voice, and therefore
I
have written this book how it came to me naturally. I ’m not
the average storyteller … I ’m me … and my experience is
very uncommon. Yes, I
jump around with tangents, but that’s
sometimes the way my mind
works. I f you
want a less
confusing story, come
back to me in
ten years from
now
when I sort it all
out!
Introduction
Let’s get one
thing straight! My name
is Jaycee Lee
Dugard. I was
kidnapped by a stranger at age eleven. For
eighteen years I was
kept in a backyard and not allowed to
say my own name. What follows will be my personal story of
how one fateful
day in June
of 1991 changed
my life
forever.
I decided to write
this book for two reasons. One reason
is that Phillip Garrido believes no one should find out what
he did to an eleven-year-old girl … me. He also believes he
is not responsible
for his actions.
I believe differently. I
believe that everyone should know exactly what he and his
wife Nancy were doing all
these years in their backyard. I
believe I shouldn’t be ashamed for what happened to me,
and I want Phillip Garrido to know
that I no
longer have to
keep his secret. And
that he is most certainly responsible
for stealing my life
and the
life I should have had with my
family.
I ’m also writing my story in the hopes that it will be of
help
to someone going through, hopefully not similar conditions,
but someone facing
a difficult situation
of their own—
whatever that may
be. It’s easy for people
to be horrified
and shocked when someone
is abducted, but what about
all the other adults and kids living in sad homes? My goal
is
to inspire people
to speak out
when they see
that
something is not quite right around them. We live in a world
where we rarely speak out and when someone does, often
nobody is there to listen. My hope is that society changes
in
regards to how we treat someone who speaks out. I know I
am not the only child to be hurt by a crazy adult. I am sure
there are still the families that look great on the outside,
but
if someone were
to delve deeper
they would discover
horrors beyond belief.
For many, it is so
much easier to
live in a
self-made
“backyard” that it can be tough and scary to venture out and
leave that comfort zone behind. I t is so worth it, though.
You
could be saving
a person or
a family who is
not able to
save themselves.
Take my case,
for example: two
Berkeley cops saw
something amiss and spoke up about it. Even if they would
have been wrong, they
still did the right
thing by speaking
up. I will forever be
grateful to them for doing the thing that I
could not do for myself.
Back then, it was a struggle to get through a day, but now
I look forward
to each day
and the next
to come. After
eighteen years of
living with tremendous
stress, cruelty,
loneliness, repetition, and boredom, each day now brings a
new challenge and learning experience to look forward to.
With my writings,
I hope to convey
that you can endure
tough situations and survive. Not just survive, but be okay
even on the inside, too. I ’m not sure how I did endure all that
I did. I ask
myself less and less every day. I
used to think
maybe the one
reading this would find
the answer for me,
but I am
beginning to think
that I have
secretly known all
along.
Ask yourself, “What would you do to survive?”
My situation was unique,
and I can’t
begin to imagine
what others are going
through in their daily
lives. You can
survive tough situations
is all I can
say. I did. History has
taught us that even when it looks like there is no hope,
hope
still lives in people’s hearts.
T . S. Eliot once wrote, “I
said to my soul be still, and wait
without hope; for hope would be hope for the wrong thing.”
My trust and
hope were indeed
put in the
wrong
person(s), but nevertheless it still lived.
I am so lucky and
blessed for all the wonderful things that
I do have. Life is
too short to think about all the things you
don’t have. I had my
girls to give me strength and my cats to
keep me warm at night and, perhaps deep inside, the dim
hope of seeing my mom again. Even if it is just one thing or
person you have to be thankful for, that is enough. Yes,
I do
believe I ’m lucky. I
could not have gotten through my ordeal
without believing that someday my life would make sense.
Life’s adventure is important. I t is important to live each
day
to its fullest, whatever life brings you.
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