Acknowledgments

Acknowledgments

There  are  so many  people  I  want  to  thank.  First  and

foremost,  I   want  to  thank  my  mom.  Mom,  you  are  the

bravest person I  know and the ultimate survivor. I f I  was ever

to harbor any hate  in my heart,  it would be  for all  that you

have suffered because of Phillip and Nancy Garrido. Mom,

you never gave up hope  that  I  would one day come home

and  here  I   am,  so  glad  to  be  back. You  are  everything  I

remember  and  more.  You  have  embraced  your

grandchildren in a way I  never believed possible. They truly

have a grandmother that loves them unconditionally. I  can’t

thank you enough for all the love and acceptance you have

given us. Thank you for supporting me in all the decisions I

have made. As a single mother you have always been my

hero. I  knew in my heart when I  stared at the moon that you

were still holding on  to hope. That hope somehow helped

me get by.

I  encourage those of you that have had a son or daughter

kidnapped to hold on to your hope for as long as you can.

NCMEC  (National  Center  for  Missing  and  Exploited

Children) was  there  in  the  background,  helping my mom

hold on to her hope. Since my return, this organization has

been  invaluable  to  me  and  my  family  and  many  others

throughout  the  years.  I   thank  them  from  the bottom of my

heart.

T o my sister Shayna: what can  I  say?  I  have missed so

many years with you and am now aware of all that you must

have sacrificed. While  I  was captive  in  the backyard,  you

were  there caring  for our mom. You grew up watching our

mom shed  tears  for a sister you hardly  remembered,  that

must  have  been  so  confusing.  We  should  have  been

growing up  together;  instead we  lost  the  innocence of our

childhoods.  I  don’t want  to give one more moment  to  the

Garridos.  It’s  time  to  look  toward  the  future and celebrate

happy moments  to come.  I  know when  I   returned, your  life

was  turned upside down again. Thank you  for all  the  love

you gave us during  that  transition. When you  taught me  to

drive, you gave me the first real sense of freedom I  had in

eighteen years. Thank you, Sis. I  love you.

T o  my  aunt  Tina:  you  are  a  pillar  of  strength. When  I

returned,  you  were  still  the  grounded  loving  aunt  I

remember.  I t  did  not  surprise  me  at  all  that  you  had

supported my mom  and  sister  while  I   was missing.  You

were so wonderful when I  returned; sitting with you as Mom

braided  my  hair  I   was  reminded  of  my  childhood.  The

missing years were behind me and  I   remembered all  the

wonderful things we did together. Now watching you being

an aunt to my children brings happy tears to my eyes. I  love

you and thank you for being the wonderful person you are.

To my extended family: thank you for giving me the space

and consideration to relearn who I  am. You have all allowed

me the time I  needed to explore this new world. I  am not the

person today  I   once was,  but  as  each  day  goes  by,  it  is

clear who  I   am  becoming. My  distance  from  all  of  you  is

more about my own personal journey and not meant to be a

reflection on my love for all of you.

T o  those of you who  took part  in  the effort  to  locate me

and to those who were there when I  was recovered: I  want

to thank you for your strength and support. In the early days

of my recovery, the cards and donations gave me hope that

the outside world was not such a terrible place. The money

helped me  believe my  daughters  and  I  would  be  able  to

survive and I  would have a way at least for the time being to

get by. We had  left  the backyard with nothing (if you don’t

include  the  hermit  crabs).  Each  and  every  letter  was  a

testament that is was okay to be free.

T o El Dorado County officials: I  want to thank you for your

continued  support  and  your willingness  to  understand  the

complexity of our  situation and  treat  it with  such  care. T o

Trish  Kelliher,  who  had  the  foresight  to  connect  with  the

National  Center  for  Missing  and  Exploited  Children

(NCMEC)  who  then  were  able  to  connect  us  to

Transitioning Families. Those simple calls provided me a

soft  place  to  land  and  get my  bearings. The  community  I

landed in was full of supportive, loving people who provided

the anonymity  I  needed. Not one person  I  encountered  felt

the  need  to  expose  our whereabouts. Even when  federal

cars clogged  the driveways making us hard not  to notice.

All  the  officials  in  the  know  from  the  local  sheriff’s

department  to  the  FBI   practiced  discretion  and  helped

keep us safe.

I  want  to  thank Vern Pierson  and  staff. Throughout  this

journey, Vern Pierson and his staff supported me and kept

me informed of the criminal proceedings with the Garridos.

Vern  was always  willing  to  work  closely  with  the  mental

health team supporting my family. His willingness to keep in

contact with me and my team allowed me to feel important

and a part of something which had very much affected my

life.

Team Jaycee grew as time went on. I  want to thank each

and every one of you  that became part of  the  team. T o all

the therapists: thanks for making therapy something we all

look  forward  to. Each of you has brought so much  insight

into our  lives. T o Rebecca and Jane, you have  taught me

friendships are more than just about agreeing; people can

disagree and still like each other. You both have taught me

how  to stand up  for myself and be a strong mother  to my

children.

T o Nancy Seltzer:  I  will keep  this short and sweet. Your

advice and support is invaluable, but it is our friendship that

I   value  the  most.  I   would  have  been  lost  without  your

guidance  in  dealing with  the  headless,  nameless media.

Your strength  is  inspirational, and  I   look  forward  to all we

can  accomplish  with  the  JAYC  Foundation  and,  yes,  I ’m

learning to roar a little louder.

There  are  so many  of  you who  sacrificed  yourself  and

your  families  to  the  healing  of my  own  family.  I   saw  the

commitment  it  took  and  although  none  of  you  asked  for

anything, I  want to thank you for your love and support. You

opened your houses and hearts  to me,  teaching me  to do

the same. You all know who you are, but in case you have

forgotten, thank you for Chuck E. Cheese’s, the horseback

riding,  the  Target  shopping  spree,  fostering  our  beloved

animals, the medical care, taking us to the snow, helping us

grow  as  a  family,  but  most  of  all  helping  us  sometimes

laugh and sometimes cry as we all  figured out how  to do

this.

T o  the  children  of my  new  extended  family:  thanks  for

teaching my  kids  to  play  ball,  introducing  them  to  new

music,  embracing  uniqueness,  thanks  for  supporting  my

kids as they acclimated to this new world. And, Yes to one

of  you,  I   will  work  on  getting  you  Dwight  Howard’s

autograph!  Thanks  for  sharing  your  parents  with  us  and

letting us see that being part of a family means reaching out

and helping others.

And  last but  certainly  not  least,  to Dr. Rebecca Bailey:

You  have  become  my  mentor,  my  coach,  and  my

confidante. You never  treated me as a  victim but  instead

embraced me as a  friend. Together we have shared hard

times and  joyful  times, and you have  taught me  to  find  the

humor  in  both  cases.  I   have  found  we  share  the  same

philosophy, which is, it is better to laugh and cry than to just

cry. Our work  together has brought  insight  into myself and

with  your  help,  I   am  growing  into  the  adult  I ’ve  always

wanted to become. The words “thank you” do not begin to

convey how much you mean to me. Your continued support

and  mentoring  will  always  be  a  source  of  comfort  and

strength for me in the years to come.

* When I  write “her” I  am referring to my mom. Back when

I  wrote  these  entries  I   just  could  not write  the words  “my

mom”; it was just too painful.